Eighteen Common Laws

  1.  The Law of Common Sense: Never accept a drink from a urologist.
  2.  The Law of Reality: Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
  3.  The Law of Self Sacrifice:  When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
  4.  The Law of Volunteering:  If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
  5.  The Law of Avoiding Oversell: When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
  6.  The Law of Motivation:  Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
  7.  Boob's Law:  You always find something in the last place you look.
  8.  Wailer's Law:  Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
  9.  Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
10.  Law of Volunteer Labor:  People are always available for work in the past tense.
11.  Conway's Law:  In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
12.  Iron Law of Distribution:  Them that has, gets.
13.  Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There is always one more bug.
14.  Law of Drunkenness:  You can't fall off the floor.
15.  Heeler's Law:  The first myth of management is that it exists.
16.  Osborne's Law:  Variables won't; constants aren't.
17.  Main's Law:  For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
18.  Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.


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