| 1. The Law of Common Sense:
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Never accept a drink from a urologist.
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| 2. The Law of Reality:
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Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
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| 3. The Law of Self Sacrifice:
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When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
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| 4. The Law of Volunteering:
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If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
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| 5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell:
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When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
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| 6. The Law of Motivation:
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Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
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| 7. Boob's Law:
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You always find something in the last place you look.
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| 8. Wailer's Law:
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Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
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9. Law of Probable Dispersal:
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Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
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| 10. Law of Volunteer Labor:
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People are always available for work in the past tense.
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| 11. Conway's Law:
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In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
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12. Iron Law of Distribution:
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Them that has, gets.
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13. Law of Cybernetic Entomology:
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There is always one more bug.
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| 14. Law of Drunkenness:
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You can't fall off the floor.
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15. Heeler's Law:
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The first myth of management is that it exists.
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| 16. Osborne's Law:
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Variables won't; constants aren't.
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| 17. Main's Law:
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For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
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| 18. Weinberg's Second Law:
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If builders built buildings the way
programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
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